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The Tips

A printable booklet packed with 72 tips for how to be supportive of non-binary (and trans and intersex) people.

This was inspired by the UC Davis 25 Trans Ally Tips which have existed since at least 2009. These address some of the most common and urgent issues around interacting with trans people respectfully and are a gateway to advocacy around things like trans women's routine exclusion from "women-only" shelters/resources.

Non-Binary (and Trans & Intersex Support Tips) aims to be a living document that welcomes feedback for editing and updating, especially along the lines of accessibility, transmisogyny, perisexism, racism, and any non-binary identities or experiences that have not been properly addressed. Especially just after first publishing in June 2019, we warmly encourage feedback, including emotional negative reactions--it is our job to take criticism and evaluate ourselves, and we firmly believe that emotion is a source of information and that tone policing obstructs both access and solidarity.

The specific context in which this was written is the San Francisco Bay Area kink scene, and that flavors the text. We believe it is important to acknowledge that disproportionately many non-binary people are kinky, and that kink communities in particular have a responsibility to confront how they routinely fail non-binary (and trans and intersex!) people. The culture here is one of intermittently worrying about they/them pronouns or appending the word non-binary (or, more commonly, gender non-conforming). This document aims to illuminate the many more fundamental issues and useful actions that exist, but it is absolutely assuming good faith by the reader and, in some places, a kink context and the relevance of information about having sex; this does limit its applications. There are definite possibilities of creating alternate versions, and input is welcomed.

This has been a labour of love and one person's vision after ten years of repeatedly treading the same ground. This in no way makes it sacrosanct nor above critique. We hope this context is helpful and above all that the Tips make some things easier, sometimes.

Download the Booklet

Feedback, comments, input, and words will reach us at

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